How to begin this review? Few countries that debuted in the 1700s have been as controversial or long running (it’s into its 236^th season now) as America. It may not have the staying power of perennial favorites such as China or the credibility of indie darlings such as Finland, but America has proven that it can at least make some cultural impact. It’s not the best, but hey, they can’t all be Louie.

America was originally a spinoff of the long-running England. Airing from the 1776-77 season through today, America focuses on a small ensemble of white people using things in the ground to become rich or kill brown people. A sprawling dramedy, it combines all of the loose plot points of a Tyler Perry sitcom with all the fun of being white.

It has widely focused on the themes of war, freedom, sitting, Fenway Park, maps, the one true Christian god, rugs, pregnancy tits, Vice Magazine, butterfaces, coal, butterdicks, “Where’s the Beef?,” Chicago, Larry Flynt, colonialism, Terri Schiavo, NBC single-camera sitcoms, toddlers, suicide pacts, Atari, penny farthing bicycles, SpaghettiO’s (Cool Ranch flavor), tiny dolls, the TLC show Sister Wives, H1N1, television, and genocide. It has some unique perspective every once in awhile, but honestly, America can be super derivative. Most of the stories have already been on The Simpsons.

A lot of episodes in America don’t really hold up. Slavery? Parachute pants? White slavery? It just feels really overdone now. Among the most memorable episodes are “The Civil War,” “Texas,” “World War” (a two-parter), and “Black President.”

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For some reason, sunglasses have become the new handbag. Maybe I just got sick of handbags and bought too many and there were too many Alex Wang prongs everywhere (did anyone else notice he took those from the Balenciaga bags and stuck them on the bottom of his purses as sort of a giant eff you while I put this on the floor?) Either way, “sunnies,” as fashion bloggers refer to them as they look pouty while sitting on a fire hydrant and wearing 18 layers at once and Instagramming the crap out of their shoes, have made their way into the regular shopping repertoire.

Guys like Persols and Ray Bans, as do I, and girls (me) now really, really like Karen Walker. I’m not even sure who this Karen is, or where she came from, (and according to Dane Cook, every group of friends has someone that nobody likes, and more often than not her name is Karen) but she’s really good at convincing me to drop $350 on eyelid covers (also undereye bag covers). Hence, shop, FFJDers. Also – do guys like big sunglasses on girls? I’ve heard mixed reviews. 

So, there’s that whole expression thing about Rose colored glasses, AKA seeing the world in a shiny, happy way where there is no war and Bethenny Frankel knows how to use punctuation properly on Twitter. But apparently, now literal rose colored glasses are cool too. Which is why my dumb intern (she’s not dumb, she helped me add Splenda to my coffee this morning, twice) has compiled this rose colored glasses guide. Now you can buy it at the office.

1. Glassing Butterfly D-frame Acetate Sunglasses, $45 2. Stella McCartney Round Sunglasses, $225 3. Matthew Williamson Pink Trim Sunglasses, $410 4. Ralph Rounded Pink Faded Sunglasses, $89 5. Illesteva Le-steel Round Frame Sunglasses, $260 6. Karen WalkerHarvest Sunglasses, $280.

What shopping guide should we do next?

Email: meredith@theffjd.com 
Follow The FFJD on Twitter!

Hey guys, it’s Tuesday. Which means you’re probably still recovering from St. Patrick’s Day, or just looked under your bed to find a crumpled green t-shirt that says “Kiss Me I’m Stylish” (maybe that was just the name of our previous FFJD shopping guide). We talk a lot about dating here on FFJD, of course, but that doesn’t mean there aren’t important questions raised about friendships, family, pets, jobs, what have you. In an effort to answer everyone’s tough questions, we’re going to take ones that vary along the spectrum. That means that you can ask away by email (by emailing Meredith@theffjd.com) or by my anonymous formspring. 

Dear FFJD,

I feel like all of my friends are getting married, and it sucks. I don’t want to end up alone, and I don’t want to rush into marriage, but I feel this pressure to just jump on this bandwagon. I have like 16 weddings alone in the next 18 months. I’m tearing out my hair, and it’s making me feel like crap. 

Katherine Heigl in That Movie With All the Dresses That Nobody Would Actually Pick for Bridesmaids

Katherine,

This does suck, in some ways. In others, you’re not worrying about chargers or runners or whatever new vocabulary/abbreviations that inevitably follow walking down the aisle. It’s great that so many of your friends are getting married, and you should be happy for them and leave it at the door at that. It’s easy to just look at what everyone else is doing and feel left behind (this isn’t just in dating, but also in careers, on Twitter, everyone has more followers than I do! Everyone has more friends! Everyone isn’t YOU).

Don’t jump on that bandwagon (literal, wedding-band wagon). Bandwagons are bad, and often lead to dysentery and fording the river without proper rations (if this reference is missed on you, then you didn’t sink 3.5 hours when you could be watching Full House to Oregon Trail). It hasn’t happened for you yet, and it probably will. That being said, if you force it, that will only welcome more feelings of resentment and sadness. Date around, have some dance floor make-outs, and enjoy the fact that you don’t have to go on a double date anytime soon.

Dear FFJD,

I have a terrible confession to make, although I don’t feel that badly because it needs to be expressed. I cannot STAND my boyfriend’s brother. It’s a very hard situation, and makes things difficult and trying on me and our relationship. He’s just an immature douchebag, and I don’t know how to handle it. Help. Me.

My Brother’s Keeper

Dear My Brother’s Keeper – aside from being in a tough spot because of something that your boyfriend cannot help, and also being the name of an ill-fated TGIF show, you’re in a really rough position. Well, how much of this is the brother, and how much of it is you? Family and dating can be tricky on about 16 different Handles, but if it’s a matter of just putting up with him for the sake of your very important relationship, then so be it. If it’s directly related to the brother’s behavior – say, he makes jokes about your weight when you enter a room – you should have a conversation with him. The most important thing is to just not make your significant otherperson not feel as if he or she is in the middle of this. That’s a decision/choice/problem that will only alienate him.

Ask FFJD Anything via Formspring, Betches.

Email: meredith@theffjd.com 
Follow The FFJD on Twitter!

Hello there, FFJDers. We’re back, from a week of sun and reflection and by reflection I mean staring at my own in a whirlpool of awesome in the Bahamas or Puerto Vallarta. Constance and I took lots of pictures of ourselves by the infinity pool, hanging out and looking pouty and uploading 1300 pictures to Facebook at once.

But now it’s back to reality, March Madness (I always wish that were a shoe sale, but my bracket SUCKS this year), post St. Patrick’s Day theme partying, what have you. I couldn’t take a break from you (and by you I mean the endless internets to which I push out content, strumming away on my Macbook, thinking endlessly of Ryan Gosling, skinny arms, and what being in your 20s is really all about, which I have yet to figure out).

But it’s Monday, which means we have something to give away to you, because Mondays are the worst. Nobody likes Mondays except for that rare job where you have to work on a Saturday and have Monday off. Or when you were in school and Monday was a holiday and Sunday night felt like spectacular found time. But it’s not a holiday, except over here it’s always See What You Can Make Your Intern (Constance) do day. 

Today’s giveaway is of a special breed – it’s a freaking TRUVOW handbag. (All faux leather, all under $125, as seen on Gossip Girl, My Intern, Myself, The Today Show). You get 20% off this week by entering the code SPRING12. You’re welcome.

I know, we’re giving away a purse, and we cannot wait to send it to an FFJDer with a fantastic sense of style or in desperate need of a lipgloss/business card holder/place to put spare straws from Cosi, which is what a purse is. And maybe, just maybe, my Cosi Straw Kleptomania isn’t a disease but rather, a tremendous asset to my never having to ever purchase little plastic tubes for spitballs.

So we’re giving away THIS TRUVOW bag, for one lucky FFJD ladyface. 

How to win:

1. Follow FFJD on Pinterest.

2. Follow TRUVOW on Twitter.

3. Leave me a funny comment, and make a funny face. Winner announced on Friday!

Would your brand like to do a giveaway with FFJD? Email info@theffjd.com.

Email: meredith@theffjd.com 
Follow The FFJD on Twitter!

It’s almost that day, where everyone wears green and tries not to barf green and does kegs and eggs and brunch!!!! turns into well…St. Patty’s Day. You need jams to pregame/wake up/go to sleep to this weekend, and the ladies of This Is Our Jam have graciously provided such. 

Does anyone else wonder why St. Patrick’s Day takes up three different weekends even when the actual day is on a Saturday? In case you haven’t had your fill of green Bud Lights, Leprechaun Laps, or four-leaf-clovered headbands, we hope you’re planning an Irishly epic St. Patty’s Day. Sham-rock and roll throughout your day of green with these jams.

Playlist after the jump. Jump!

“St. Patrick’s Day” – John Mayer If we need to explain this song choice to you, we’re not doing our jobs right.

“Sweet Savannah” – Shooter Jennings Did you know that Savannah, GA has the second biggest St. Patrick’s Day celebration on the East Coast? We didn’t until we stumbled upon it and had the best night of our lives.

“Higher Love” – James Vincent McMorrow one of TIOJ’s favorite Irishmen

“Danny Boy” – Johnny Cash chances are you’ll end up singing this while swaying arm in arm with your new Irish best friend at O’(enter bar name here)

“Galway Girl” – The Punters (PS I Love You) The only thing better than cute Irish songs are Gerard Butler singing cute Irish songs. If you don’t believe us, you really need to go watch P.S. I Love you again.

“It’s Not Easy Being Green” – The Muppets tell it like it is, Kermy.

“The Saints Are Coming” – U2 St. Patrick, perhaps?

“Shipping Up to Boston” – Dropkick Murphies first biggest St. Patty’s Day: Boston. Duh.

“American Land” – Bruce Springsteen learn to jig with this New Jersey rocker and his crew (spoiler alert: next week’s playlist will be related to Jersey — any guesses on what it is?)

“Damian’s Irish Rap” – Damian (from The Glee Project)

TIOJ’s faaaaavorite Irish lad of the moment — Damian is our favorite little leprechaun on Glee this season. Have more St. Patrick’s Day-inspired jams for us or ideas on where to get the best green gear around (or maybe a pot o’ gold)? Let us know on the o’twitter or the mcfacebook.

Email: meredith@theffjd.com 
Follow The FFJD on Twitter!

Our dutiful health and fitness correspondent, Jillian Michaelstein, is back with some advice about your favorite additive: SPLENDA. Not to be confused with Splendid t-shirts, we all dump Splenda in our iced-coffees, skinny lattes, and diet oatmeal with aplomb. But let’s see what Jillian Michaelstein has to say on the topic.

Dear Jillian Michaelstein,

Is it bad that I dump Splenda on everything?

Get ready to have your world rocked: FDA regulations allow items with less than 5 calories per serving to call themselves “no calorie” so your “zero calorie” light yellow bff actually has 4 calories per packet (that lying bitch!).

That may seem insignificant but multiply by how many packets you dump in your nonfat quad-shot extra hot no foam morning and afternoon lattes and the extra few calories can add up.

Studies also show that artificial sweeteners can cause you to misidentify hunger cues and crave more sugar. Realistically though, most of us run on Dunkin and Trenta-sized Starbucks (do they still make those?).

There are some alternatives to the pink, blue, and yellow sweet stuff.

Truvia and Stevia in the Raw have invaded the marketplace touting themselves as “all natural”. In my humble and frequently caffeinated opinion, Truvia has a strange licorice/metallic aftertaste but I’m a big fan of Stevia. It’s much sweeter than sugar and Splenda, so you can use half as much.

Another thing to try – ditch the sweeteners all together! Try using soy or almond milk in your coffee. It adds a unique and naturally sweet flavor to your morning Joe without a side of morning chemicals. I will give that yellow minx Splenda props for one of her uses though. As our patron saint, Cher Horowitz, said, “when a boy comes over, you should always have something baking”. So, if you are baking for your beau (or your crew), look for recipes that call for Splenda for Baking as opposed to sugar. One cup of granulated white sugar has about 774 calories versus one cup of Splenda for Baking has about 96 calories. You’ll save on cals and time on the Stairmaster and still enjoy a somewhat more guilt free treat.

Jillian Michaelstein (its a pseudonym, fools) is a twentysomething international event planner extrodinnaire living in washington dc. She’s a certified spinning instructor and is building her Holistic Health Coaching Practice. She plans to use you all as guinea pigs for her business so be a pal and send any fitness/health/nutriton/wellness questions to (Constance@theffjd.com) and shell answer them.

If you’re an NJB, send a headshot and your phone number.

Email: meredith@theffjd.com 
Follow The FFJD on Twitter!

Today you have not one but TWO shopping guides! Hurray! Spend your paycheck, immediately. Saturday is St. Patrick’s Day, in case you weren’t aware. It’s basically one giant theme party day, with green and orange and beer and leprechauns and hopefully some carbohydrates to help you wash that down (or make sure it doesn’t come back up). Constance is dressing as the office leprechaun, handing out Mardi Gras beads, tampons, and candy necklaces to all in her path. Isn’t she just the best? 

Everyone knows that the most important aspect of St. Patty’s Day, is in fact, how cute your green outfit is. Ergo – don’t let anyone barf on your new Balenciaga.

1. Shipley and Halmos Blonde Edison Sunglasses, $275 2. Daydreamer LA Leprechaun Tee, $24 3. Balenciaga Giant Hip Shoulder Bag, $815 4. Spring Fever Silk Top, $78 5. BaubleBar Phospho Neckalce, $38 6. Shamrock Frame Glasses, $10

Howdy there, FFJDers. How was your Tuesday? Did you take my advice? Did you enter in to win some yogurt? Did you watch this from Hilary Clinton, telling ladies not to take any shit? I hope so. Every Wednesday we bring you an excerpt from the New Yorker, also known as a guide to buying stuff from your computer at work. You’ve probably sifted through endless look-books, where leggy models look bored or jump up and down and their ponytail flies behind them in a perfect straight line.

Whether you’ve looked at the $350 “distressed” underwear you cannot afford, we certainly have picked some great stuff for you to purchase. Tropical prints – reminiscent of Florida and grandparents and tourists, is now extremely cool. Seeing as such, Constance, my dutiful and dim intern, has picked out some of the best around the web for you.

1. Stella McCartney Hawaiian-print T-Shirt Dress, $395 2. Dries van Noten Jungle Print Clutch, $705 3. Zoe Karssen Palm Tree Tee, $95 4.Charlotte Olympia Isla Palm Leaf Sandals, $1,075 5. Markus Lupfer Sequined Sweater, $530 6. Stella McCartney Hawaiian-print Canvas Cosmetics Case, $330

Ladybutts and gentlemandudes, it is I, Meredith and my dutiful intern Constance, who has just made a run to get my toilet paper, Us Weekly, and sixteen red M&Ms. We’re fresh off our South By Southwest Panel (in case you haven’t noticed on the Twitter machine, #sxsw), where we pitched a new app called Yogurt.ly, which aggregates all the frozen yogurt toppings you could be eating and organizes them by calories. We then had a quick panel on the Rise and Fall of the Button-Fly, and now we’re back in the office.

Today is Tuesday, and it’s also warm and wonderful outside, which means it’s Spring. And this spring, pin someone hot. In real life, not on Pinterest or on the Internet Machine or on Facebook (while you’re busy scanning their Spring Break!!!!!!!! photos). The flowers are out. It’s time to party.

Today’s advice comes via my email and also via my anonymous question machine, Formspring. You should try it, and you can ask me embarrassing things that probably are totally normal and not embarrassing at all. There is no such thing as a stupid question, only stupid Comcast bills. Lots of them.

Dear FFJD,

I never know what to say when a guy asks me for my number and I don’t want to give it to him. Awk. What do I do?

Love,

Peeps

I think 80% of my names I give people are food and/or animals and/or a part of Ryan Gosling’s midsection (EXNAY ON THE EVA-AY, HURRAY) . Peeps (and I’m obviously referring to the chewy marshmallow treat that explodes when places in the microwave, try it), first of all, it depends on what your objective is here. If you really think you’re never going to see this guy again, don’t give it to him. Tell him no thank you. I know, right? Not an I have a boyfriend, or you have to go, but just a gentle “no”.

I always tell people to be careful of using the boyfriend excuse. Why? It could close doors to future opportunities, and you don’t want people thinking you’re unavailable when you are. What if this guy had a great friend for you? Or, what if you misjudged him as a circus freak and upon closer inspection, he’s actually really nice and fun? You often can’t tell what people are like in bars, because I’m usually that annoying girl flipping her hair and BBMing or Tweeting. I should tell myself to look up from the screen once in a while.

In another vein, what if he became a friend of yours? Unless he has 15 arms, and really only wants to stick his tongue down your throat during a Dance FloorRihanna Makeout (very specific, but frequent), then skip it. I am friends with people I’ve gone out with. (Boyfriend, thank you for understanding this, I appreciate it.) It’s led to job opportunities, new friends, new experiences, and new people to gchat with when you just need a little bit of electronic entertainment.

Leave no stone unturned. 

That being said, I decided to ask a Manelist:

Without question, the least painful answer to receive is,  “I’m really flattered and you’re very (funny/cute/sweet/hot) but I’m seeing someone. Have a great night.”

(I mean, I would assume this is the least painful. Of course I have never ever been denied a phone number request.)

Ask FFJD Anything via Formspring.

Email: meredith@theffjd.com 
Follow The FFJD on Twitter!

Here I am, bringing you a Monday gift in a basket full of puppies, rainbows, and unlimited CVS Extra Bucks. (Extra Bucks are actually better than money. Anyone who has spent too much time on any Goodie product and/or a 15 pack of Toothbrushes knows this. Also, I’ll take three neon nail polish colors that I will never wear but they’re free. Well, free-ish.)

Last week we gave away some of the new Yoplait lactose free to a bunch o’FFJDers. Did it arrive on your doorstep? Did it greet you on a Saturday morning like your dehydration normall does? I thought so. It’s a great hangover cure, you know. Also a face-mask, parfait-base, toothpaste, etc.

All this month we’re bring you some lactose free yo(gurt) to our loyalist of FFJDers. Did you know the Iceman was lactose-intolerant? Did you also know that so is Cindy Lauper, and also one of our FFJD faves, Anne Hathaway? So basically if I ever got to a point in my life where Anne and I were on the Bethenny Frankel talk-show circuit together, we really wouldn’t want to be engaging in an ice-cream-eating contest. It’d be a terrible idea.

We’re giving away more yogurt this week, but first let’s take a trip down Lactose Lane, shall we? (And by lactose lane I mean by my telling a really embarrassing story about being lactose intolerant. On a date. True.)

Details and how to win after the jump! Digest!

So basically, I am convinced that I turned myself into an Anti-Lactosian at the tender age of 16, when I found it appropos to eat frozen yogurt for breakfast, lunch and dinner with a helping of sprinkles that would, in some countries, be considered really gross. It was then that I started having trouble on the digestion in question, so I decided for the most part, I’d soy the crap out of myself for the coming years. Where does this narcissistic story go, Meredith? I’ll tell you. 

I met a guy, who I was obsessed with. We’ll call him E. I basically laid down like a doormat for E, but I don’t think he was interested because he was into being all artsy and hipstery and not caring about things like Blackberries and showering and liked to look/act bored a lot. I thought that was really cool. I decided it would be a mission of mine to capture him. Romantically.

I was visiting New York from the Land of the Ill-Fitting Pants Suit, also known as Washington, and I invited myself to Brooklyn to hang out with E. I decided it would be under the guise of my “being in town” and whatever so we just had to hang out and talk about how much we hated mainstream media together. So I head to Brooklyn.

Long story short, we’re sitting in the park looking at a crafts fair of recycled Toms shoes strung up as chandeliers or whatever adorns hipsters’ apartments, and my stomach starts to go upside down. I am with a guy I really, really like, in a park full of people that think they’re denouncing mainstream culture (I will admit I love Brooklyn, but I’m as alternative is that teeshirt company, Alternative Apparel), and I start to get really sick. Apparently in Brooklyn they haven’t heard of soy, or I chose the one coffee shop that doesn’t brew its own Henna milk. It was mortifying. 

Let’s just say I spent the rest of the afternoon sick to my stomach, still with him. Needless to say, it didn’t work out. (I think he also had a girlfriend, which makes me feel less bad about my small intestine.) I was mortified, but at least I took myself to Beacon’s Closet afterwards.

The point of this embarrassing diatribe is that lactose is for slores. Tell me a funny story about a time you were embarrassed on a date and win some yogurt yourself.

How to win:

1. Follow FFJD on Pinterest. I know, new platforms, new interns, new things to pin things to.

2. Leave a comment below about your own lactose (or really, other food, or general dating) woes. We’re here to solve them. By sending yogurt.

Winners announced at noon on Friday.

Email: meredith@theffjd.com 
Follow The FFJD on Twitter!

Everybody, Spring Forward! I can’t wait for the days to get longer and therefore give my intern Constance more errands to run as I make her use a tricycle around town. If you see a girl with three cell phones (one is particularly for last-minute frozen yogurt orders, also known as the Mochi Mobile) and riding around on a one-wheel Missoni bike, that’s her. (Did anyone actually buy the Missoni for Target bike?) 

The weather is getting warmer and the birds are chirping and the grass is growing and you should really go see the Lorax and feel slightly depressed about the irreversible damage we’re all doing to the ozone layer and that Taylor Swift should do voice-overs more often. (Really, go see it.) Therefore, you need a playlist to jam while you’re at the office, on your tricycle, or on the elliptical. The ladyloos of This Is Our Jam have put together some daylight savings lists to carry you into spring time and new hobbies like finally trying a different brand of vodka. 

Even though the weather keeps ping-ponging back and forth between rainy cold and beautiful sun (or like a lion and a lamb, you could say — hey, March), we’re firm believers that it should officially be spring as soon as the calendar turns to March. Daylight Savings Time this weekend will bring us more sunlight, and we’re really excited for it to not always look like the dead of night when we look out our windows. We decided to give you an extra song this week to make up for having to spring forward and skip the 2 am hour on Sunday morning (no, but really — can someone please explain to us how this works?).

Happy spring!!

FFJD TGIF Playlist: Daylight Savings Jamz. {Music}

Spring is in the air, motherduckers and ladyloos! Did you enter our Yoplait giveaway yet? I am planning on dunking my intern, Constance, bless her British heart, in a vat of the Lactose-free Yoplait and then covering her with rainbow sprinkles. If only the yogurt came with toppings like I used to beg my Mom for and had enough sugar to induce a heart attack/labor. It’s Wednesday, which means my yogurt-covered intern/pretzel has put together a shopping guide for your mutual entertainment. Whether you’re at work, reading this on the elliptical (if so, UP THAT INCLINE, GURL), be sure to break out your credit card and buy some stuff. Or just stare and wish and dream and crawl back into the break room for another coffee from the Stevia machine.

Whether you were at Paris, New York, Milan, or Cincinatti Fashion Week (my own personal fashion week took place in my apartment, where Joan Rivers tore me to shreds and Karl Lagerfeld told me I was a little bit fat), you know that pastel’s are the Spring 2012 bees knees. Not that bees have knees, but if they did, they’d be shopping this guide. I must have those sunglasses, or as they are known in the fashion smashion world, “sunnies”. 

1. ZARA Sandal With Ankle Strap, $99.90 2. Equipment Signature Washed-Silk Crepe de Chine Shirt, $210 3. TOPSHOP Animal Jacquard Shorts, £30 4. YSL Belle du Jour Patent-Leather Clutch, $475 5. Bauble Bar Sea-Foam Cable Necklace, $54 6. Karen Walker Harvest Sunglasses, $280

Hello there, ladyloos. It is I, the grand poobah Meredith, and my dutiful intern/garden gnome, Constance. We are here to bring you a new series on the Blog Formerly Known as Fifty First (J)Dates. (It was just too long, and then like, who just wants to stick to Jews? And to dating? And to Jewish dating? Exactly.)

We’re starting a new column to wipe out the boring dinner and drinks rut that 93% of you find yourselves in. Blah blah, long work week, stuck in someone’s buttcheeks on the subway home, and you just want a cocktail. We know. But the thing is, it’s fun to do new and different dates, and it’s a great way to get to know a new person or if the date sucks, get to know a new fire-breather and extensive cocktail list.

Amirite? An FFJD NYC Correspondent put together five fun date ideas in Manhattan. 

As a neurotic, obsessive, day-dreaming female in Manhattan, it’s easy for me to think of fun date ideas. The possibilities are actually endless. For some reason or another, though, men have an increasingly difficult time with this. I’m not sure why – maybe they don’t want to take a girl on the same date that they’ve been on with someone else, maybe it’s a budget thing, or maybe we’re all just so damn exhausted from working 50 hour weeks that by the time nights and weekends roll around, planning a date is just too much thinking.

But with so many fun things to do around here, why limit ourselves?

Date ideas and such after the jump. Jump!

The guy I’m currently dating challenged me to a date planning duel, which I then won with chocolate martinis at Ayza (www.ayzanyc.com) and a sketch comedy show at Upright Citizens Brigade (www.ucbtheater.com). I figured I would offer up some other NYC-specific date ideas for those of you (few and far between) male readers who need a little assistance. (Ladies, feel free to accidentally leave your laptop open to this post while your guy is at your apartment and you have to check something in the other room.)

Please note: I would rarely recommend one of these as a first date, unless you already know the person and therefore have already played Jewish Camp Geography.

Drinks and dessert at Ayza, with a show at UCB.

Ayza is romantic and inexpensive compared to a lot of other wine bars, and UCB is practically free at $5 a ticket. I recommend ASSSCAT on Sunday nights, where Amy Poehler makes an occasional surprise guest appearance.

Ping pong at Spin.

Spice it up with a bet – winner buys gelato at Eataly around the corner afterward.

VinoVersity

…on the Upper East Side offers a wide array of wine tasting classes. This can be pricey, but well worth it.

Bowling alleys.

including Bowlmor in both Union Square and Times Square, Brooklyn Bowl in Williamsburg, and Lucky Strike in Hell’s Kitchen. 7. Sporting events. Yes, some women actually like sports. Yankee tickets in the summer can run as low as $15 each for bleacher seats.

Cupcake decorating class.

I’ll admit, this is one of the girliest ideas ever, but she will love it! Try Butter Lane in the East Village.

Want to see your city here? Think a date idea is missing? Email Constance@theffjd.com. (oh yeah, that was six. her suggestions were too good.)

Email: meredith@theffjd.com 
Follow The FFJD on Twitter!

It’s Tuesday, betches. Did I overnight you some Yoplait? Did you love it and put it in your new purse and carry it around like a baby animal that is distracting you from doing your work all day? Baby animals: Ruining Productivity Since 2009. Seriously. Can we also talk about the fact that Snooki is both engaged and pregnant? We haven’t such a winning combo of questionable decision-making since she was snapped drinking a beer in a margarita. Guys, Snooki is going to be a PARENT. Like she’ll have to tell Baby Snooki not to do drugs or naked cartwheels or when to go to bed and how to chase shots properly.

Anyway, FFJD is back with some advisicles in the dating domain. I cull these questions from a few forms: emails to meredith@theffjd.com (please don’t continually send that weird breakup spam, person who thinks I am going to click on it, but I would like the $5000000000 in foreign dough), the FFJD Anonymous Formspring, and also via banana phone.

Today’s questions are about double dates and friends.

Dear FFJD,

Is it weird to have your first date be a double date? Because there’s a girl I want to take out and we have a mutual couple friend. Do you have any advice for double dates?

Love,

Double Stuffed Oreo

Double-stuffed Oreo, I decided to ask an FFJD Manelist (male panelist) about this conundrum:

“F’in step up your game and just go out with this lady. Why? Because you’re not a tween, or a highschooler for that matter, and should just work out the mono-a-mono aspect. Going on a date, with just another person, is what adults do. It forces you to be confident and rely on all of your faculties of charm and wit!

There is of course added pressure for you to be the best you can be on your date but you won’t run into date ambiguities (i.e. she won’t be questioning if you’re out together as friends or as a potential couple). On the other hand, there is less pressure on the two of you without your friend-couple in tow since they will be pushing the two of you, which may come off as try-hard or unnatural.

Unless you are particularly shy, or bad with the ladies, and you need the wing-man support then you should act like a grown-up and command-and-conquer.”

Dear FFJD,

I’m meeting my new girl’s friends for the first time this weekend. I feel like puking. How can I impress them without seeming like a nerd?

Nerd

Nerd – you’re totally not a nerd, I’m just being unsavory. I love nerds (both the candy kind and the people kind, it’s sort of a tie between the two). It’s intimidating to meet someone’s friends, or friend, or parents, or anyone else in his or her life. Up until now, you’ve been in your own little candy-coated twosome without impact from the outside world or forces.

Don’t try too hard to impress them: I know this sounds stupid and intuitive, but chicks can smell fakeness from 13 miles away. If you’re comfortable with yourself and show it, they will be receptive, even if it’s different from their usual skinny arm banter. All they care about is that their friend is happy. So basically if you’re supportive of her and show that you care, that’s what matters most. More often than not, her friends just want to see if you have similarly cute and nice friends for themselves.

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